


What You Really Need

by xanam



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Riku is sad but what else is new, Self-Reflection, takes place during kh2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 18:02:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15846507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanam/pseuds/xanam
Summary: Do it for Sora.Help Sora to wake up.Even if this is the end of your friendship, even if he’ll never look at you again.Do this for Sora, because that’s all you ever do anything for, now.Riku stands in Land of the Dragons and thinks about the consequences of his actions since leaving the islands.





	What You Really Need

**Author's Note:**

> There's 150 days left until KH3, and that seemed like a nice number to start a themes challenge around, so here goes! It's a pretty short one, took around an hour to do.  
> Prompt - Silent Watcher

Loud, energetic, confident. Out of all the kids, the best and most experienced in combat by far. The fastest runner. The strongest. The bravest.

These were all things about Riku that everyone around him simply _knew_ as he grew up. Adults praised him for excelling so well at everything he did, while the other kids who made the journey out to their play island would idolise him, seeing him as their goal, someone to aspire to be, someone to aspire to _know_ , to be friends with as closely as possible.

Of course, Riku’s time and energy were not easily granted to _everyone_ , and until the other had willed it to be otherwise, only Sora was allowed to be so close to him, to admire him up close, to want to be _just like him_ and know far more of what that entailed than anyone else. To see his hopes and dreams of adventure beyond their islands, his wishes to travel far and wide and enjoy a much wider, more _exciting_  world beyond - more exciting _worlds_ beyond!

Only Sora - and then Kairi too, because who was he to deny Sora that, when he wanted the new girl to stand by their sides?

Riku sighed, traipsing through the snow as he tried not to let it crunch _too_ loudly underfoot. Snow... He’d never seen it before in his life, not up close like this, and it should’ve been a wondrous thing. Something to revel in, something to laugh about as he scooped up piles in his hands and tossed them at his two best friends. He’d always been the best at everything, so why would snowball fights be any different? Playing with Sora in the snow sure sounded fun - and Kairi, of course.

Maybe then they’d find a frozen lake, or pond, and he could prove himself the best at ice-skating, too.

...As if that could ever happen, now.

Much like the ice his thoughts had conjured up, the very image of that boy he’d made sure to show to the world what felt like an eternity ago was cracking beneath his feet and it was hard to stay above the freezing depths of the water, trying his hardest not to drown.

Although, he supposed, perhaps he already had.

Looking like this, _being_ like this... Riku had done _unthinkable_ acts since they had left the islands. Treating Sora so cruelly, mocking him and bullying him at every turn, talking about Kairi as if she were a prize, using her as a way of rationalizing every last bit of anger the darkness had brought out in him, every last shred of his bitterness towards his other friend... Well, even if he didn’t currently look like Ansem, there was no way either of his best friends would want to see him, now.

He was horrible, disgusting, and not even the year he’d put in trying to right his wrongs, to help Sora to sleep soundly before the time he could wake him up... Not even _that_ would ever be enough to cleanse him of all he’d done.

_Especially_ with how easy it had been for DiZ to convince him to hurt Roxas, to ruin the life of someone who was very much a part of Sora _again_ \- not to mention the deep feeling of dread that came from parts of the last year seeming too _fuzzy_ to be right, as if wiped from his memories with barely a trace,

He’d _never_ forgotten Sora, not like the others. He’d done everything he possibly could to make sure of that, keeping him in his heart, reminding himself every moment that he was fighting, that he was being DiZ’s pathetic lapdog - _do this for him. Do this for Sora. It’s all you_ **_can_ ** _do, now. There’s no going back._

_Sora, Sora, Sora, Sora._

_Do it for Sora._

_Help Sora to wake up._

_Make sure Sora stays safe, even if you can never look him in the eye again._

_Even if this is the end of your friendship, even if he’ll never look at you again._

_Do it for Sora, because he might not know it, but he_ **_needs_ ** _you, and who knows how long that’s going to last?_

_Fight for him. Fight until he doesn’t need you anymore._

_Carry on. Keep him safe. But know it’s the end._

_Do this for Sora, because he’s the only reason you do_ **_anything_ ** _now._

_The only reason you’re still here._

He wanted to laugh every time he thinks back to his time on the islands. It wasn’t a laugh of amusement, of mirth and joy. No, it was bitter, filled with twisted amusement as he remembered just how _wrong_ everyone had been about him back then, and how much he’d changed since.

He barely spoke any more, content to simply watch Sora sleep within his pod back before he’d taken on this filthy, _disgusting_ form that was sickeningly fitting for him now, a bitter reminder of everything that he had become. He barely spoke any more, keeping to brief discussions with Axel and Naminé when required, driven only by thoughts of how to best protect Sora, keep him on his toes, prepare him for whatever the organisation would throw at him next.

He didn’t _feel_ brave. It stung his pride to admit, but he was _afraid_ . Afraid of what he’d become, of what he’d done, of what _Sora_ would think if he were to see him like this now.

His sleep was permanently plagued by Zexion’s cruel tricks back in castle oblivion, seeing Sora’s face twisted into such hatred and disgust upon seeing him that he felt like he would _die._

So maybe he wasn’t really so confident any more, so brave, but man, he was still _so damn good at running_ . Running away from all of this, running away from all of this bullshit, from everything he’d done. He could face the heartless who obeyed him no longer, look Ansem- _Xehanort’s heartless-_ in the eye as he crushed him, pushed him back into the deepest recesses of his heart never to get back out again except for in his _looks_ , but he could never, ever go back to Sora, nor to Kairi. Not like this. And likely never again.

_Crunch. Crunch._

He froze, the irony of doing such a thing not lost on him in the snow. He could see Sora up ahead with his dog and duck companions as usual - the ones that were _good_ , were _loyal_ \- he reminded himself. He’d been tailing Sora for a while up here in the mountains, of course, and he couldn’t help but notice just how much fun the other boy was having. His thoughts trailed returned the the swarm of heartless he knew were up ahead. He wouldn’t be able to stop Sora from heading there himself, but maybe, just maybe...

The thoughts arose faster than he could stop them, and he allowed it. Sora could do with a test to prove he could handle this by himself, right? Riku just needed to... To see his strength in combat for himself, that was all. That was all there was to it.

And if he’d noticed the way Sora’s eyes scanned the area, clearly seeking out someone he’d spotted before, he pretended not to. That would be stupid, after all.

_Just this one thing. Just let me have this_ **_one_ ** _thing. If he can’t beat me, I’ll fight these damn heartless myself._

So what if he just wanted to have a bit of fun, in truth? To get the chance to play in the snow with his best friend, the one who his heart had belonged to for longer than the passage of time would allow him to remember, just this once? He’d never get this chance again.

Riku was the best at _everything_ , after all. He could _totally_ kick Sora’s ass sparring in the snow.

**Author's Note:**

> Teeeeeeechnically this is a day early, but I'm busy tomorrow so it'll have to do. Hoping I can keep up and do a few more of these, it'll be good practise for writing bigger things! I'm glad I finally finished a soriku piece, the soriku discord server is really inspiring! <3


End file.
